The Ethnically Insensitive Toy Grows Up

So this morning, Nora was playing with Alphabet Pal, "the toy that says every ethnic slur but wop!," when she suddenly got very excited:

NORA: Mommy! Daddy! Guess what!

PHIL: What?

NORA: Alphabet pal just hung from a leaf in the shape of an upside-down "j"! And he made a cocoon! So that means that he is going to be a moth, and not a butterfly!

(Some children are obsessed with dinosaurs, and not that she's not obsessed with dinosaurs, but holy crap, the lepidoptera. No one but no one gets as excited about the ubiquitous cabbage white as this girl!)

Nora on Gummy Candy

[SCENE: Ext., Carnegie Science Center. NORA and VICTORIA are sharing a box of Swedish Fish.]

NORA: What flavor are the orange ones?

VICTORIA: Orange. Orange gummy things are almost always orange flavored.

NORA: And the red ones?

VICTORIA: Cherry. Usually red gummies are cherry or strawberry. I guess sometimes they're watermelon. The yellow ones are lemon and the green ones are lime.

NORA: Occasionally, the green ones are basil!

VICTORIA: ...........

Pfffffft

Signature sandwich my ass. I will lay my beefsteak tomato sandwich against your pimiento cheese monstrosity any day of the week.

In other news, I am a monster of charcuterie. Just ask me.