My Daughter Has Strange Ideas About Noah and That Boat

[SCENE: Int., Maison de Stijl.]

NORA: Mom, can you get me a snack?

VICTORIA: Absolutely not. You just left half of your snack an hour ago, and besides, dinner is in twenty minutes.

NORA: But I am starving!

VICTORIA: You're not going to starve in the next twenty minutes, hon. I know it's hard to wait, but dinner is going to be soon, I promise.

NORA: But I am hungrier than a Noah's Ark!

VICTORIA: ........


[SCENE: Int., Maison de Stijl.]

NORA: I am tired. I am going to take a nap!

VICTORIA: Really?

NORA: Yes, I am really going to take a nap this time. Will you read to me?

VICTORIA: I am happy to read to you, but I don't like it when you say you're going to take a nap just to get me to read extra books. If you want to hear a book, just ask me to read. Otherwise, you need to actually rest when you ask people to take the time to put you to bed.

NORA: No, I really am going to sleep. I am sleepier than a Noah's Ark!

VICTORIA: ......



[SCENE: Int., Maison de Stijl.]

VICTORIA: Thanks for helping me put away those decorations, girlfriend.

NORA: You're welcome, Mommy! Now I will beat you down the stairs!

VICTORIA: I did not realize we were racing.

[NORA runs down the stairs.]

NORA: See, Mommy? I beat you!

VICTORIA: Yup, you sure did, sweetie.

NORA: Fortunately, I am faster than a Noah's Ark! Unfortunately, you are not faster than me.

VICTORIA: .........


In other news, just look what is happening this weekend. If this is half as bloodthirsty as mascot soccer, I am SO THERE. (Actually, we all know that I am there for this sort of thing no matter what, because as we learned with mascot soccer, half the fun is that there are only a very few top-tier mascots, and then it degenerates into mascots from grocery stores, pizza chains, and the Department of Transportation. High comedy indeed! And on ice?! Holy crap. This I must see.)