This one comes from a friend of a neighbor of my friend Elaine.
Curbivore: someone who drives around on bulk pickup days and grabs decent-looking things neighbors have discarded.
ALSO, apropos of nothing in particular, be very wary of husbands who, when you have food poisoning, suggest you eat uni for lunch tomorrow. Very wary indeed.
Friday, June 27, 2008
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
There Needs To Be More Found Punditry-Poetry
Because this that Phil sent my way today? Is made of pure, uncut AWESOME.
And do you want an MP3 of the song to torture your officemates and small children with? You know you do! Find it here.
And do you want an MP3 of the song to torture your officemates and small children with? You know you do! Find it here.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Nora the Sorta-Prodigy
There's a lot of lore -- some of it true, some of it apocryphal -- about the musical training of Mozart, the young artistic mind of Picasso, Einstein as a kid, whatnot. I've heard considerably less and have always been idly curious, though, about what Greil Marcus and Robert Christgau were like as preschoolers.
I no longer wonder.
I also think that "listen while you work to the best mix from the 70s, 80s, 90s, and today!" radio stations blow Nora's mind in such an entertaining way that I could almost -- almost! -- be persuaded to listen to them in her presence just for the anthropological value.
[SCENE: Int., Baskin-Robbins. NORA and VICTORIA are eating ice cream.]
NORA: What song is this, Mommy?
VICTORIA: It's called "Since U Been Gone."
NORA: I think they will play "The Golden State" next!
VICTORIA: That would be nice, but I don't think that's likely to happen, hon.
[NORA and VICTORIA eat some more ice cream until the next song comes on.]
NORA: What song is this?
VICTORIA: This song is called "Cruisin'." Huey Lewis and someone else are singing this version.
NORA: Hmmm. I think they will play the Acoustic Guitar song next!
VICTORIA: I will wager you anything you like in the world that that is not going to happen.
[NORA and VICTORIA continue eating ice cream.]
NORA: What's this song?
VICTORIA: Well, the song is called "This Old Heart of Mine." It's a Motown song originally, but this isn't the same person who sang it originally.
NORA: Who is singing now?
VICTORIA: I'm not sure. It sounds like Rod Stewart. [note: per Phil, that's exactly who it must've been.] Whoever it is, they're desecrating the poor song. It sounds terrible.
[NORA nods sagely.]
NORA: Mr. Rogers sounds like that sometimes .
VICTORIA: I am not touching that one.
[NORA AND VICTORIA eat a little more ice cream.]
[The next song, by Hootie and the Blowfish, comes on the radio. Nora listens for about three seconds, makes a face of despair and disillusionment, then busts out with:]
NORA: I was watching with one eye on the other side! I had fifteen people telling me to move, I had moving on my mind!
VICTORIA: Nora, you can't sing "Hotel Yorba" that loudly in the ice cream store.
NORA: But I want it to be on the radio instead of this song!
VICTORIA: Don't we all, honey. I do not blame you one little bit.
I no longer wonder.
I also think that "listen while you work to the best mix from the 70s, 80s, 90s, and today!" radio stations blow Nora's mind in such an entertaining way that I could almost -- almost! -- be persuaded to listen to them in her presence just for the anthropological value.
[SCENE: Int., Baskin-Robbins. NORA and VICTORIA are eating ice cream.]
NORA: What song is this, Mommy?
VICTORIA: It's called "Since U Been Gone."
NORA: I think they will play "The Golden State" next!
VICTORIA: That would be nice, but I don't think that's likely to happen, hon.
[NORA and VICTORIA eat some more ice cream until the next song comes on.]
NORA: What song is this?
VICTORIA: This song is called "Cruisin'." Huey Lewis and someone else are singing this version.
NORA: Hmmm. I think they will play the Acoustic Guitar song next!
VICTORIA: I will wager you anything you like in the world that that is not going to happen.
[NORA and VICTORIA continue eating ice cream.]
NORA: What's this song?
VICTORIA: Well, the song is called "This Old Heart of Mine." It's a Motown song originally, but this isn't the same person who sang it originally.
NORA: Who is singing now?
VICTORIA: I'm not sure. It sounds like Rod Stewart. [note: per Phil, that's exactly who it must've been.] Whoever it is, they're desecrating the poor song. It sounds terrible.
[NORA nods sagely.]
NORA: Mr. Rogers sounds like that sometimes .
VICTORIA: I am not touching that one.
[NORA AND VICTORIA eat a little more ice cream.]
[The next song, by Hootie and the Blowfish, comes on the radio. Nora listens for about three seconds, makes a face of despair and disillusionment, then busts out with:]
NORA: I was watching with one eye on the other side! I had fifteen people telling me to move, I had moving on my mind!
VICTORIA: Nora, you can't sing "Hotel Yorba" that loudly in the ice cream store.
NORA: But I want it to be on the radio instead of this song!
VICTORIA: Don't we all, honey. I do not blame you one little bit.
Friday, June 06, 2008
Nora the Songwriter
[SCENE: Int., Maison de Stijl, Chambre.]
NORA: [singing] La, la, la, la, la, singing crowns! They protect you from the kitty, jumping on your head!
PHIL: Has the kitty ever jumped on your head?!
NORA: No.
PHIL: Are you worried she will?
NORA: The kitty doesn't jump on SPECIAL PEOPLE's heads. The kitty jumps on my head when I am bad.
PHIL: Then the way to keep her from jumping on you is to be nice to you.
NORA: No, I need a hat!
PHIL: You sound like a Republican.
NORA: [singing] La, la, la, la, la, singing crowns! They protect you from the kitty, jumping on your head!
PHIL: Has the kitty ever jumped on your head?!
NORA: No.
PHIL: Are you worried she will?
NORA: The kitty doesn't jump on SPECIAL PEOPLE's heads. The kitty jumps on my head when I am bad.
PHIL: Then the way to keep her from jumping on you is to be nice to you.
NORA: No, I need a hat!
PHIL: You sound like a Republican.
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