Rain = Nature's Vomit

[SCENE: Ext., le Target. VICTORIA and NORA are walking towards the car. It is drizzling very lightly.]

NORA: It's starting to rain!

VICTORIA: Sure is. This is called drizzling, when it's raining just a tiny bit. You know, some people say in weather like this, that the sky is spitting.

NORA: The sky is PUKING! (laughs uncontrollably.) It is puking ALL OVER THE PARKING LOT!


(It's especially cute because "puking" is one of the few words that Nora mispronounces, along with "piano" --- they're "pluking" and "peeplano," respectively.) On the way home, I was told that the trees were disgusting because "they're POOPING all over the ground!" I have entered the "bodily functions are hilarious" part of the parenting journey.

Oh, and one more Nora story, because I'm boring like that and she has a future career in stand-up:

[SCENE: Int., Giant Eagle. The store is completely packed with octogenarians. In the midst of an aisle traffic jam, an OLDER GENTLEMAN in a wheelchair stops to dote on NORA.]

OLDER GENTLEMAN: Well, just look at you! Aren't you adorable!

NORA: Yeah.

OLDER GENTLEMAN: What's your name?

NORA: Nora.

OLDER GENTLEMAN: Well, have a good day, Nora. (wheels off.)

[NORA looks around and sees many more OCTOGENARIANS.]

NORA: EVERYONE! MY NAME IS NORA, OKAY? DID YOU HEAR THAT? IT'S NORA.

[Several OCTOGENARIANS chuckle. VICTORIA rolls her eyes and continues grocery shopping, resolved to have a little chat later about when it is and is not appropriate to make such announcements.]