The gaijin's guide to nigiri

Fish sticks before Mrs. Paul bastardized them, nigiri is a strip of (usually) raw fish on a finger of vinegared sushi rice. Allow me to be your guide through the mysterious world of sushi!

tai (red snapper). Terrific gateway fish because it's not so "fishy," doesn't have an odd texture, and doesn't smell strong. Good tai will leave a pleasant, mild aftertaste not unlike that of a good-quality Chardonnay. Shares its name with my cat, but that's just a coincidence (we didn't name her).

saba (mackerel). After you've been handling pennies for an extended period of time, your hands take on a bit of a metallic smell. The taste that matches that smell is saba.

sake (salmon). Not to be confused with sake. Creamy and rich; almost buttery. Among my favorites. A closer analogue than most nigiri to its cooked counterpart.

hotate (scallop). Available in two forms -- 1.) relatively unadulturated, strapped to a finger of rice with a strip of nori (seaweed). This is well and good, but hotate reaches its apotheosis in hotategai, chopped scallop with spicy togarashi mayonaisse and tobiko (see below).

tobiko (flying fish roe). Imagine the bastard offspring of caviar, Pop Rocks, and Paas Easter Egg coloring kits, and you've got tobiko. Great as an accent; personally, a bit too salty on its own.

hamachi (yellowtail). One of the more assertive fish. I perfer this as negi-hamachi, maki rolls with yellowtail and scallions. If you prefer feta, Gruyere, and Gorgonzola to cheddar and mozzarella, hamachi will probably appeal to you.

maguro (tuna). There have been a number of news stories talking about how tuna is full of mercury and heavy metal contaminants. My reaction: duh! Poor-quality maguro will dry your mouth almost instantly. It can be that metallic. Good maguro has much in common with filet mignon. Maguro belly is known as toro, and is both tastier and significantly more expensive.

ebi (shrimp). Strictly for beginners, if you go out of your way to order it. For more of an experience, try the amaebi, or sweet shrimp, often accompanied by a fried prawn head. You can make it dance, but this is only socially acceptable while drunk.

kani (crab). Stick of crab. Often not really crab. Proceed with caution, though this is a safe bet if sushi scares you.

uni (sea urchin). I wrote a poem in which one character compares the texture of raw squirrel meat to sushi, and the narrator imagines it feels like a tongue. She was thinking about uni

tamago (egg omelet). I'm not crazy about scrambled eggs or omelets. Even more so when cold. However, I've on occasion waited over an hour for a piece of tamago. This has led me to believe that the secret ingredient that makes tamago luscious and sweet is, in fact, heroin.

tako (octopus). Eating the flesh of the octopus will make you smart. Cephalopods, y'know? I've had good results using this as a gag gift for sushi-phobes, but it only looks intimidating. If you'll eat calamari fritti, tako is a piece of cake, or octopus.

unagi and anago (eel and sea eel, respectively). About the closest sushi gets to Southern cuisine. In and of itself, taste and texture are similar to catfish (this is served grilled). With eel sauce, it tastes like the delicacy commonly called "BBQ catfish."

hokkigai (surf clam). More intimidating, texture-wise, than tako, but milder in taste. Looks like a horizontal tequila sunrise.

awabi (abalone). I've had sushi chefs try to dissuade me from eating this. Tasty, but very, very tough. Not recommended for sushi eaters with TMJ.